The following account is based on a dialogue with Sue Miller, an 83-year-old resident of Wisconsin. Miller’s life has been marked by the responsibility of raising three children, two grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren, much of it independently. Currently, she lives alone near her autistic son and works part-time as a lunch lady. The interview has been edited for brevity and clarity.
Having faced numerous challenges, Sue Miller attributes her resilience and survival to an uncanny ability to find work when needed. Her life story is a testament to perseverance and adaptability. “I’m blessed because even when things were really hard, it always seemed like something came up to help me out,” she reflects.
Sue’s journey into motherhood was intense, with three children born within a span of 15 months. Her middle child, David, is autistic. He faced developmental delays, not walking until age three, and was notably hyperactive. Despite the demanding circumstances, Sue found ways to manage. She recalls, “I was lucky if we got four hours of sleep a night.”
Balancing her career with her family life was challenging. Sue worked various jobs, including at a dentist’s office and as a cocktail waitress, while raising her children. During particularly stressful times, David stayed at a training school to help establish a routine, which Sue found beneficial for both of them.
I relocated my family to Arizona
In 1976, after her divorce, Sue moved to Arizona with two of her children while David stayed in Wisconsin due to better facilities available for him there. The move was intended to start anew, but the plan to live with someone else fell through. Sue managed to purchase a house, eventually buying out her partner’s share, and took on accounting roles despite not having a formal degree.
Within two years, she acquired a condo using proceeds from her Wisconsin home sale. Frugality became a way of life, with Sue focusing on second-hand stores and smart car purchases. Her children contributed to household expenses by paying rent, instilling a sense of responsibility in them.
The family is spread across various states
Today, Sue’s family is geographically diverse. Her oldest son resides in Minnesota, her daughter lives in Arizona, and her grandchildren and great-grandchildren are scattered across different locations. Her granddaughter Christie, along with her children, has lived with Sue at various points, turning Sue’s home into a nurturing environment where “grandma’s rules” were the norm.
Rules, responsibilities, and relationships
Living with Sue meant adhering to her structured lifestyle, with responsibilities for all household members, including weekend jobs. Sue has always been financially prudent, paying off her home early and assisting family members whenever possible, even if it meant being owed money.
Working past retirement
After retiring from an accounting position at 65 due to a layoff, Sue took a break before returning to Wisconsin to care for her stepmother. This move also allowed her to spend more time with David, who lives in a group home nearby. Sue cherishes these moments with David, finding joy in their weekend outings.
From volunteer to lunch lady
Sue’s current role as a part-time lunch lady at a local school district is a result of her desire to stay active and financially secure. Despite having sufficient Social Security income, she enjoys the routine and the financial benefits of working. This role, along with her savings, ensures she remains comfortable and independent.
Staying healthy and active is also a priority for Sue, who continues to engage in activities like walking and water aerobics despite her diagnosis of small lymphocytic lymphoma. With a positive outlook, she aims to live a long life, driven by her commitment to her family and personal well-being.
